Fan Diary: I've Been Torn Between Two Biases for Years. So I Ran My Saju With Both.
📖 Fan Diary · 2026-06-11 · 4 min
Sol is the kind of multi-bias fan who feels guilty about it — an INFJ who takes loyalty very seriously, including loyalty she invented and owes to no one. She thought a compatibility engine could settle the question. It made everything worse, in the best way.
Some people have a bias. I have a situation. For years there have been two of them, and the guilt is real in a way I cannot explain to people outside fandom. It's not that anyone is keeping score. It's that I am. I'm the one lying awake thinking: if you love two, do you fully love either?
So I did the unthinkable. I ran my Saju with both of them. Same night, back to back, like a coward and a scientist at the same time.
The engine refused to pick a side
I won't put their names here — this one stays between me, the engine, and now apparently the entire internet — but here's what happened: the readings were completely different, and both of them were right. One read like steadiness: an element that holds mine, the relationship described in terms of calm, of being given somewhere to land. The other read like momentum: an element that feeds mine, all spark and forward motion, the kind of pull the reading itself warned me to pace.
I went in wanting a verdict. A number that would let me retire one of them with honor. Instead the engine handed me two different mirrors and said: these are two different parts of you. The steady one matches the me who wants to be held together. The spark one matches the me who wants to be set off. The app did not solve my problem. It gave me TWO perfect matches and made it worse. Do not recommend. (Ten out of ten. Would do again.)
What I actually learned
The thing nobody tells you about bias compatibility games: they're not really about the idol. They can't be — the idol doesn't know you exist, and the game knows that, and you know that. What the reading actually describes is you, refracted. Which part of you reaches toward steadiness, which part toward fire. Running two biases just makes the refraction obvious. I stopped feeling guilty that night. Loving two people's art with two different parts of yourself isn't disloyalty. It's range.
Fan Diaries are told by fictional fan narrators created by Honbit. Compatibility scores and reading quotes are real outputs of our Saju engine. Idols appear by name and public birthday only. This is a fan game — just for fun, unofficial, and unaffiliated with any artist or agency.
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